Who'll Stop the Rain?
by MK15
Summary: He felt nothing, at least not at first. The Spartan attributed his initial numbness to his years of emotional compartmentalization. However, the nothingness soon transitioned to blind rage when he saw just how frail she was. It looked like she had been starved, beaten, and everything in between.
1. Chapter 1

**This story really has no context, and not a great amount of canon plot. I guess I just felt like writing it.**

**From the Grave is still in the works, but this just kinda happened. **

John liked the rain.

It wasn't something that he often got the luxury of appreciating. Not to say that it didn't rain in the battlefield, because it absolutely did- often at the worst times. But, it was rare that he got to relax outside of his armor, and just _feel _the rain on his skin.

Raindrops are impossible to predict. No matter how advanced meteorology became, it would never be able to calculate the exact amount of raindrops that would fall out of the sky. A weatherman could never articulate the sharp sticks of the liquid on a soldier's skin, or the soothing droplets on a tired man's face. He had experienced both, and the inability to account for the sporadic nature of the drops was always something that he had secretly enjoyed.

Unpredictable variables had always been something that made his stomach flip, and his heart clench. Soldiers hated the unpredictable, but Spartans _despised _it. Sam's unavoidable death had been mostly unpredictable, as well as the many brothers and sisters he lost in augmentation. Rain on the other hand, did not reflect this pattern.

It was simple. His life was full of tragedy and complication, but rain was simple. On nights like this, when he sat on the porch to his modest home admiring the simplicity of a thunderstorm; the aging man felt content. He still had his demons. They would never disappear; he was sure of it.

The first year that he lived here, he felt lonely. All of his siblings were dead, and he really had no personal relationships beyond that. He had lost his only true friend eight years prior to his retirement. Her loss was something that weighed on him, even when his career ended.

"Retired" was a misleading term. It implied that he was waiting for it, or that he desired it. Neither of which were true. Despite being almost sixty, he still had the stamina and functionality of a man in his early thirties. His own age surprised him at times. It seemed that one day he looked in the mirror and bam, an aging man looked back at him.

During the first year, he read a lot of the classics. _The Sound and the Fury _was his personal favorite, but he wasn't entirely sure why. He had found it too confusing at first. But when she returned, they had read it together. It had made sense then, everything made sense.

He would never forget that day. Near the two-year mark of his retirement, he received an urgent transmission from High Command. It startled him, because he requested to be left alone unless the world was ending.

It wasn't ending. It was just the beginning.

Cortana hadn't died, at least not completely. She had been thrust into the domain after her final encounter with the Didact. The first few years after her "termination" had not been easy on her. Parts of her consciousness remained in a dormant state while drifting though the Domain, and it began growing stagnant. The AI's consciousness had floated through the domain in pieces for years, until the Librarian finally pieced her together- in sentient form. Unfortunately, she was discovered by a salvage team on Requiem before she could make contact with John.

After her capture, ONI took possession of Cortana for about five months. They had turned her into a pet project, and they often tested the limits of morality. The spooks wanted to know everything about the AI turned human- even if it cost her sanity. John didn't want to think about what would have happened if Lord Hood had not intervened.

She was not perfect- at least not in the eyes of ONI technicians. Not everything had been recovered, and she retained no useful interfacing capabilities. Cortana was still extremely intelligent, but she was simply not of use to the UNSC. Invasive and abusive "examination" was ONI's way of making her useful.

This dampened her spirit. Seldom did he see Cortana possess the same fire that she used to. During their first reunion, she barely made eye contact with him. He was no master at emotions, but there was no mistaking shame.

He felt nothing, at least not at first. The Spartan attributed his initial numbness to his years of emotional compartmentalization. However, the nothingness soon transitioned to blind rage when he saw just how frail she was. It looked like she had been starved, beaten, and everything in between.

He wondered how much she truly suffered. It was not uncommon for her to shake and thrash in the middle of the night. If he were sitting outside, he could sometimes hear her attempting to remain silent while she wept. Sometimes he wished that he didn't hear, but his augmented hearing always prevented that.

However, there were other times that she appeared to be happy and carefree. Her laugh lit up the little house on the hill, and her presence instantly improved his mood. He struggled to articulate how he felt, and she thankfully never pressed.

But sometimes he found himself pressing her. John is aggressive in nature, but he was always more socially reserved. Prodding a friend for information is not something he ever did; but he had questions.

"_Can't you understand that I don't want to relive it? I find myself drowning in that hell every day; and instead of saving me- you want to hold me under."_

"_That's not what I'm trying to do. I want to help you, and I'm trying to gauge where to start."_

"_You aren't a psychologist and I'm not a patient. You don't open up to me, and I don't open up to you."_

He winced at the memory. Shortly after her final statement, she locked herself in her room. She eventually came out and acted casual, but John was no fool. She had been acting different around him for the last few months. It was almost as if she doubted him on some level- like he had failed her in some way. But in his own eyes, he had failed her countless times.

The only reason she was so broken was because he had failed to save her all those years ago. At the time, he understood that he had to make the sacrifice in order to protect humanity. But upon discovery of her survival, he felt nothing but guilt. She suffered for years while his life went on. Albeit, it was much duller without her, and he missed her often. But their pain was not the same. Comparing their pain would just be plain disrespectful to her.

The aging soldier pondered his thoughts on the porch while watching the storm overtake the sky. He easily saw the irony of the situation. Even after a lifetime of war, he still reveled in the most natural form of chaos. He was a Spartan, but he was still a man at his core.

The first thunder rumble awoke her. She gasped and tried to control her shaking, but to no avail. John, despite being in a somewhat distracted state, immediately heard her rustling. It left him uneasy, but he did not want to intrude on her well-valued privacy.

"_Are you okay?" _

"_John- I'm fine. I didn't mean to wake you."_

"_I'm not worried about that. You sounded distressed, and I-"_

"_Please… just go. I don't need saving." _

He stayed on his porch swing, clenching his jaw and suppressing his worry. She would come to him when she was ready, he reminded himself. Despite her occasional coldness, he knew that she cared about him. He was all she had, just like she was all he had.

* * *

Cortana used to be so fascinated with the idea of sleep. It seemed like such an odd concept to her. When she was an A.I., she never had to slow down or rest, she could work until she deactivated- and that's what she did.

But she didn't exactly love working all the time. She never needed sleep, but she was envious of how soothing and recharging it seemed. She distinctly remembered how deep John slept on Cairo station after returning from the first Halo ring. His sleep seemed so nice, she almost wished that she could grow legs and hop in bed with him. If she was being honest, she still had that desire.

But things were different now. She hadn't had a single good night's sleep in her life. And her dreams… they tormented her like no other. Cortana had expected to dream of flying or dancing, but instead she dreamed that she was back on a cold operating table.

She also didn't have the courage to even approach the prospect of sleeping with him. She made a conscious effort to dodge that sort of thinking. Their relationship was a little more than platonic, but it was far from being _that. _

But damn she wished that it was.

The piercing crack of lightening saved her from falling down that rabbit hole. It wasn't raining yet, but she knew it was coming soon. The lightening flash casted a brief shadow, and she could see him sitting outside.

He meant so well. She often hated herself for not accepting his help, but she just couldn't. He had his own sleepless nights; never ending nightmares and cold sweats. She was sure that his was more intense than her own, but she still did not want to burden him with her troubles.

_The bed on the other side of the wall creaked, and she heard his erratic breathing. He was having a nightmare. After a few minutes of sleeping panic, he awoke and quickly walked to his bathroom. Heaving sickness soon followed. She silently wondered what he dreamt about, but it must have been truly repulsive if it was enough to make him of all people sick._

_She quietly slipped out of her room and filled a glass of water. After a little bit of searching, she found the crackers she kept in the far kitchen drawer. But by the time she got back, his door was shut and locked. She wordlessly retreated into her room. _

She wanted to like storms, but they were too spontaneous for her liking. The bright flashing and harsh noises only brought back memories. She knew that she would not sleep for the rest of the night, so she picked up her used guitar and gently strummed.

John liked listening to her play. She was still learning, but it calmed her. Her calmness was his calmness.

She played an all familiar tune that was her go to. John knew the notes by heart now, and he had no earthly idea how to play. She tried to teach him once, but he was god awful and it sent her into a fit of laughter. Despite the mild embarrassment, it made him happy.

For whatever reason, she abruptly stopped playing. So, he decided to be a little playful.

He whistled that tune right back at her like a stubborn schoolboy. She reacted in a way that he could have predicted; she challenged him.

The next tune she played was slower, but slightly more complicated. He could tell that she intentionally played in a higher pitch to counterattack his deep voice. She was being tactical.

He gave it right back, and he taunted her by adding a little flair at the end. But she wasn't done yet.

She took a risk this time, and it almost worked in her favor. Her new tune was much faster than the last tune. She played the first few notes with perfection, but she made a drastic mistake at the end. She accidentally strummed her final note without putting full pressure on the string; making an unpleasant _thud _type sound. It was her downfall.

John could have smiled. He rejoiced in all victories, but this one was especially sweet. He copied her final tune with pride, even mocking her mistake with a tongue-blowing fart noise at the end.

After his finale, there was a momentarily silence. It was quickly broken with the sound of Cortana's laughter. It was the only thing he liked better than storms; and victory of course.

The now calmer woman laid the guitar back down before digging into her tea drawer. Tonight wasn't special, but she didn't care. She quickly took one of her sweeter blends to the kitchen and began preparing two cups.

Unlike Dr. Halsey, Cortana preferred tea over coffee. She didn't hate coffee, but it seemed duller. She also recalled how one of the ONI spooks always smelled of cheap coffee and…

_Stop._

_Breath. 1…2…3…_

Her shaking ceased, and her heart rate slowed. Cortana had always enjoyed research, but she was never fond of researching anxiety remedies and coping mechanisms. John found one of her PTSD books one time. He said nothing, clearly not wanting to upset her. Yet a part of her wished he had said something. It seemed that she always craved more of him.

The kettle whistled; begging for her attention. She loved her little kettle. John always found cute little things for her, and she never knew where he got such taste.

"Thanks," John said while taking the hot tea mug.

"I almost know that you won't like this one, but its worth a shot," Cortana muttered before taking a cautious sip.

John hated sweet drinks. He seemed to have this irrational belief that an ounce of sugar would ruin his perfect spartan physique. Cortana hated it, and she was determined to get him hooked on something sugary so he could stoop down to her junk food level.

Her diet really wasn't all that bad, but it might as well have been a grease pit compared to what John ate. She wasn't fat, but she definitely was soft compared to John's rock hard muscle.

"Thoughts?" she asked playfully.

"Not the worst one you've given me," he answered while taking another swig.

No matter how sweet or repulsive he found it, he always finished it. She supposed he had much worse in his lifetime. Plus, wasting was not in his nature.

"I'll get you into something sweet one day- just you wait," she taunted.

"I like sweet things. I don't like drinking this liquified sugar," he said with some sass.

He was usually stoic with occasional dry wit, but he reserved his sass for Cortana's resolutions. She enjoyed poking fun at his habits, and he liked responding to it.

"Uh-huh. What sweet things do you partake in? Raisins?" She laughed out.

"I love raisins," he responded with a feigned innocence.

Her laughter invaded the air once again. He had heard it thousands of times, but it never got old. Nothing about her ever got old.

"Only you would defend the honor of dried up grapes," she decided.

Shortly after her final statement, the rain began pouring down. She scooted closer to him to keep warm, which was something she did often- even if she wasn't that cold. He had his arm on the back of the porch swing, and thinking about it gave her a slight shiver.

"Shit!" she yelped while flying out of the porch swing.

"Wha-"

The former AI sprinted off toward her pride and joy- her garden. He had no idea why she would take off in such a panic. Was rain not good for her plants?

He watched her frantically run around the fertile dirt looking for something. Despite the amusement, he was really curious as to what she was doing. So, he kicked off his boots and ran out there to join her.

"Search and rescue?" he said with thick sarcasm.

"I left my new gloves out here this afternoon!" she bellowed.

She was on her hands and knees at this point, clearly not caring about the mud. Cortana was very put together and clean, but she was not prissy. He liked that about her. He had run into his fair share of prissy marines, he never understood it.

After about a minute of searching, she found her muddy gloves. She sprinted madly toward their little porch, but John kept pace with her without trying. He could tell that she was disappointed in the state of her new gloves.

"Well, guess I better go clean up," she sulked out.

He followed her inside, but quickly removed his shirt while stepping into his room. He was not nearly as filthy as her, but not up to his hygienic standards either. He decided to let her shower first. He had a special drawer of his own, and he slid it open.

A fresh roll of sweet tarts laid there, waiting to be opened. He didn't tell Cortana about his love of sweet tarts, merely because he enjoyed her attempts to woo him with sugar. He eagerly popped one in his mouth while discarding his rain-soaked clothes.

"Hey John, can I borrow a towel? I forgot-"

He could've slapped himself in the face. In the midst of removing his wet clothing and anticipating his candy, he left his door half open. Now he was standing there, clearly eating something in only boxers.

She blushed. During her time as an AI, she had seen him in pretty much every state. She knew everything about his body, but that didn't keep the blood rushing to her cheeks.

"I'm sorry- I didn't mean to-" she stammered.

He didn't say anything as he handed her the towel, clearly unphased at the fact that he was undressed. He was more worried about being caught in the act of eating sweets.

"Wait, what are you eating?" she asked with some mischief.

_Shit._

He didn't respond. Truthfully, he wasn't sure how.

"You have a little sugar on your lip," she said with a smirk.

She quickly reached up and wiped it off. Strangely, she heard his breath catch a little bit when she touched him. She let her hand linger out of unbridled instinct.

His lip and chin burned from her touch. She seemed so calm and casual, but he was melting from her presence. They had touched and shown affection before, but never like this.

Cortana did her best to play it cool. She wanted him alright, but she didn't dare to make the first move. Her late-night thoughts had centered around him on many occasions. His physique was alluring, and she was confident that he noticed her too.

She hadn't missed the occasional glances if she leaned over, or the change in breathing if she got close. John was a very respectful man, but he was still a man. His eyes wandered, and she tried to give him something to wander to. She hoped her womanly assets invaded his thoughts too.

Softly, he touched her cheek, and was satisfied that she seemed to lean into it. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Touching her with his blood-soaked hands didn't even seem right, but it was what he wanted. But nothing in his life was ever quite right.

He leaned down, and her lips met his. It was so pure. He definitely had sexual desire towards her, but it didn't translate in the kiss.

She giggled slightly in the kiss. He gently broke away out of confusion.

"I can taste the sugar. Sweet tarts by chance?" She questioned.

"If you think I'll share, you'll be in for some disappointment," He countered.

"I'll be fi-"

Lightening struck and it completely derailed her sentence. She lost all of her playful glow, and she went back into her disturbed state.

"I'm sorry. I should probably go clean up and go to bed," she said softly.

"Do you want to stay in here tonight?" John awkwardly blurted out.

His offer caught her off guard. Part of her wondered if it was because he wanted to take their kiss a step further, but then she remembered that he wasn't that kind of man. If she was being honest with herself, she was elated and relieved that he had finally asked her to join him.

"That would be nice," She admitted with an honest smile.

They stared at each other for a moment before she left to go clean up. It felt like a weight had been pulled from his chest, and replaced with a cage of fluttering butterflies. He had done many courageous things in his life, but none had ever given him that level of personal satisfaction.

She returned to his room in a t-shirt that she had previously stolen from him, and a pair of comfortable shorts. However, the shirt was so large that it looked like she wasn't wearing any shorts. He had to harshly remind himself to not get excited, it wasn't appropriate. _Not yet. _

While John was mentally cursing himself, Cortana climbed in bed. This time she was the bold one, and she laid her head on his chest. She felt so relaxed and comfortable. His breathing was steady, his heart rate firm; and she felt safe.

"Thank you," She whispered.

"Anytime," He really meant it.

"Don't make a girl a promise…" she spoke softly.

Her breathing slowed to a steady rate. The spartan could feel her body relax against his, and it caught him off guard. People generally were calmed by his battlefield presence; merely because it meant they were likely going to live. But he had never once comforted anyone like this. He had been afraid that he would somehow upset her even more. He was happy to be wrong.

His curiosity ate away at him. Cortana was badly hurt, and he had no idea what to do about it. Being able to comfort her greatly relieved him, but he wanted to heal her. He often had to remind himself that she isn't some piece of machinery that can be fixed. The soldier had only briefly classified her as such, until realizing that she deserved much more than that.

John shuttered to imagine what would have become of him if she had not returned. He supposed that he would've finished out his days in solitude, eventually dying without anyone to mourn him. That first year alone was rough, let alone twenty.

She brought a light into his life that he never pictured existing. He did lots of reading in his first year of retirement, and he was well aware of how crazy love made people. But he never actually related to it until Cortana. He thought about her constantly, despite her being with him every day.

Even during the eight years that he wasn't with her, she still crossed his mind on a regular basis. He figured that he loved her before she became human, and he had never once told her. His fear of expression shamed him. He didn't understand why he couldn't bring himself to tell her, he assumed she already knew. He didn't exactly hide it, he just didn't verbalize it.

As he stared down at her sleeping face, he felt the wave of emotion wash over. It wasn't the first time that seeing her flooded him with feelings, but it was easily the most overwhelming instance.

"I love you," He whispered.

She stirred a little, but she did not wake. He was somewhat relieved that his admission remained unheard. John had every intention of telling her, but he didn't want to do everything at once. He was content with showing his love through actions, at least for now.

He laid awake for a while longer, but he didn't move a muscle. The storm descended into a soft rain, which carried him to sleep.

Cortana never went back to sleeping in her own room. Not out of fear of storms or dark, but love of John's company.

**This is the first time that I've written anything like this. It was actually really fun :D**


	2. Chapter 2

Cortana had been secretly making a bucket list of things that she wanted to experience.

She kept her little bucket list in her bottom drawer, next to their shared bed. After the bad storm in the spring, she never went back to her old bed. Eventually, she had gradually moved into his room. If he minded, he never vocalized it.

Their small, quiet house belonged to the landscape. It was surrounded by grassy pastures dotted with deep blue ponds that melted into a miles of trees. The young woman could admire the scenery for hours. Her and John often went on walks in the pastures, and she pointed out every single animal they saw. John undoubtedly heard them with his augmented hearing long before she saw them, but he didn't seem to mind.

She truly loved her new life with her Spartan. He was such a good companion, and they always kept their promise to take care of each other. Cortana was content, but she also yearned for new experiences.

She lovingly pulled out her notepad and gazed at the list. Her list wasn't too terribly crazy, but something about it seemed a little embarrassing. She knew that John hadn't done the majority of the items on the list either, but she still hadn't shown it to him. Although, she had a plan.

The Fourth of July was this upcoming weekend, and it posed a perfect opportunity for one of her list items.

She wanted to get drunk.

The former AI was originally against alcohol purely due to the inhibitive nature. Her brain was her biggest pride, and she couldn't imagine willingly surrendering that. However, she had loosened up as time went on.

Her drunkenness would also distract her from the constant banging of the fireworks, which is another major plus.

Would John be willing to drink with her? She really hoped so. John never vocalized his demons, but she knew that the fireworks brought back memories for him to.

She decided that she would make a nice meal that night, and casually give him some alcohol. Not in a predatory or secretive way of course, but just a subtle invitation. Shortly after devising her plan, she quickly made a shopping list and headed to the store.

* * *

John was on the final stretch of his morning run when he saw Cortana heading to town. He assumed that she was on her way to the store, but he was careful to assume things about her. He had recently found out she was seeing a therapist, so it was plausible that she would be going there.

He found the therapist's business card in her tea drawer by accident. Cortana had asked him to grab her a teabag, and she must have not realized that it was in there. He said nothing, but he was saddened at the idea of her not feeling comfortable enough to tell him. Maybe someday he would ask her about it.

Would she ever fully open up to him?

He chastised himself. He wasn't exactly an open book, so having that standard for her wasn't fair. However, he felt that Cortana made an active effort to hide things from him. He never intentionally hid anything from her. His dreams were one, if not the only thing- that he still could not bring himself to share.

The old brown dog that had taken to sitting on their porch drug him out of his thoughts once again. He assumed the dog was a stray, and he had taken to feeding it. He was shocked at how fat the animal had become, and he figured that Cortana was giving him extra. She had a soft spot for animals.

Suddenly, he remembered that Cortana had bought him a collar the first week he showed up. John advised to wait on putting it on in case he went back to his owners. However, the older dog had been squatting at their place for around a month now, so he supposed it was time.

He absentmindedly made his way into the bedroom and to Cortana's bedside drawer. John was very respecting of her privacy, but she usually didn't mind if he was just grabbing something. He popped open the drawer and saw…

A list?

_Go to the beach_

_Go camping_

_Try a dragonfruit_

_Grow a watermelon_

_Get drunk_

The list kept going on. He immediately felt guilty and stopped reading. Why hadn't she told him about this list? Did she want to do it all without him?

Was he too boring?

He wasn't the most exciting companion. His schedule was relatively set, and he thoroughly enjoyed his new quiet lifestyle. Although, he hadn't experienced many things beyond war.

John tried to avoid such an area of thinking. Occasionally, he'd dream about his mother. Not only did it bring him immense guilt, but it only served to remind him that he didn't have a childhood.

He often dreamt of blood and gore- but nothing compared to the horror of facing the truth:

He had been cheated. John was very proud to be a Spartan, but he wasn't a fool. He sometimes wondered what life would have been like if he had never been conscripted into the Spartan program. But it always led to the same conclusion.

Without the Spartan program, he never would have met Cortana.

It didn't exactly erase his bitterness, but it numbed it. He really did love her.

When would he tell her?

When the time was right, he would. She was still sorting out her emotions, and he didn't want to affect her personal growth. She deserved that much.

She deserved everything.

He wanted to make that list happen, but he couldn't exactly tell her that he found it. He also wasn't sure if she wanted him to be apart of it. If he was being honest with himself, he did want to be involved.

John emptyhandedly made his way back outside to the heap of a dog sitting on the porch. He sat with him on the step and stroked his back while waiting for Cortana.

She killed the engine and couldn't contain the creeping smile. John never failed to shoot up from his seat the second she arrived home. He always met her halfway to say hello.

"Finally came up with a name for the dog," John said passively.

"Am I allowed to veto?" Cortana said with sarcasm.

"Maybe. I think we should call him Loaf," he said with confidence.

Cortana looked up at him for a moment, half amused and half bewildered.

"He looks like a big loaf, so it seemed appropriate," John said defensively.

"I'll think about it," She decided.

John spotted the remaining groceries and wordlessly went to go unload them. Cortana flinched as he began to open the door. She left the brown paper bag in plain view!

John noticed the alcohol. He wasn't too sure how to precede. On one hand, he could just ask her about it. But on the other hand, he didn't want to make her uncomfortable.

He decided to just carry it inside and not mention it. If she wanted to include him, she would. He really didn't know how she would even be able to drink without him noticing, but he would play dumb if necessary.

"I wonder if we should get actual dog food for Loaf. He's getting pretty fat off of our table scraps," John mused.

"Not a bad idea, but we can't let him get too skinny. His name is Loaf for a reason," Cortana said matter-of-factly.

"Do you still have the collar?" John asked calmly.

"I think I left it in the shed. I'll go look," She responded while walking out the door.

Time was on his side. He discreetly opened up the brown bag to check its contents. She had picked up three bottles and a pack of beer. He felt a little shocked. How much was she planning on drinking?

He gently slid the bottles back into place, and busied himself with putting away the rest. Cortana made her way back into the kitchen with the collar in hand.

"Geez, I don't think this thing is big enough. I'll have to get him another one," she noted.

John nodded with a slight smile. He could tell that Cortana was excited about their new friend, but he also wondered if she was excited about the alcohol. She hadn't made an effort to hide it. He decided to wait.

They went about their day as usual. Cortana tended to the garden. Despite her hatred of storms, she wished that her garden wasn't so dry. She meticulously pulled every weed and watered every sprout, but it was getting rather bleak for the backyard garden. It wasn't the biggest tragedy she had ever experienced, but it was still disheartening nonetheless.

John had taken to hiking. There were some distant hills on the end of the rolling pastures. He managed to get his hands on a decommissioned warthog, and it was perfect for getting him across the bumpy pasture. Today, he decided to try taking Loaf with him.

He brought extra food and water in case the animal couldn't make it. Much to his surprise, the old dog kept pace fairly well. He did stop for water breaks and tummy scratches, but John didn't have to carry him home; so that was a win.

In the hours the unlikely duo spent hiking, John grew to appreciate Loaf. He was an old dog, but it was obvious that the chubby animal didn't _feel _old. In an odd way, John related to his cheerful companion- minus the chubbiness.

John had grown out his greying hair a little. At first, he was a little embarrassed how grey it had become. He had gotten over it though, because in the end it didn't really matter. So many young people perished in the war. He considered himself lucky to even see himself age.

His outlook on life had evolved since retiring. He was never suicidal, but he always figured that dying in the battlefield would be ideal. The Spartan had tackled many impossible things, but loneliness seemed the most daunting.

His fears were gone now. He had Cortana, and now he had Loaf. He really felt happy. Hopefully, Cortana felt the same.

John continued to ponder Cortana's issues while going down the last hill to the warthog. The sun was setting once again, but its beauty always held his attention.

* * *

The next morning was peaceful. Sunrays poured into their small shared bedroom, beautifully lighting up the sleeping woman's face. It took a lot of time, but John finally started waking up after sunrise. He always woke up before dawn, even after Cortana began living with him. But once she started sharing a bed with him, he started sleeping later. He just couldn't bring himself to get out of bed and disturb her.

She always slept with her head on his chest. It wasn't uncommon for her breathing to become rapid throughout the night, or for her to softly cry out. Sometimes her words were unintelligible; sometimes they weren't. Her nighttime ramblings were all over the place, but they always had one thing in common: John.

Sometimes she would be calling out to him, other times she would be directing him where to go. Occasionally she would just randomly mention his name as if they were having a conversation. Her dreamlike behavior was a little disturbing, and he never slept through it. He'd place a hand on her back and lay still. She never said anything to him about it.

"Good morning," Cortana said sweetly.

"Morning," he mumbled back, eyes still half shut.

"Your breath stinks," Cortana said with a giggle.

"Yours ain't too sweet either," John said, letting his blue eyes peek out.

Cortana gave a playfully unamused look while rolling out of their shared bed. She quickly dug around in her bedside drawer to retrieve a hair tie. He briefly caught site of the bucket list, but he made no motion to give away his discovery.

She left the room to begin her morning ritual. Her routine wasn't much of a routine- she frequently changed it up. Some days she would take a really long shower, other days she would head straight to the garden. He finally got her to start eating breakfast every morning. It was, in his experience, the most important meal of the day.

John was the opposite. He would wake up, workout, shower and shave, then eat breakfast. He had broken some of his soldier habits, like waking up before sunrise. But it wouldn't take a genius to figure out that he was ex-military.

They finished up their morning activities. They were going to town to get Loaf some proper pet supplies, at John's insistence. He liked doing things right, especially when it came to Loaf.

John started up the warthog for his trip to town. As usual, he sat in the driver seat waiting for Cortana. She tended to take her time when it came time to leave the house. It slightly annoyed him, but he made his peace with it.

She finally exited the modest house, and she looked gorgeous. Her beauty honestly shocked him. She was wearing a fitted tank top and shorts with her hair pulled up, but she was the most stunning woman he had ever seen. He made an active attempt not to stare, but it required a lot of focus and self-control that he hadn't utilized in a while.

"Sorry I took so long, my hair was being pesky," Cortana said while digging into a compartment for sunglasses.

"Mhm," he hummed with sarcasm.

Cortana was a perfectionist when it came to many things. Her garden was in perfect rows, and it had no weeds. Her closet was color coded, and her hair was always perfectly in place. Although her attention to detail was something he admired, it could also become an annoyance when he had to wait on her to smooth every strand of her dark hair.

The spartan drove them into town with ease. Up until recently, he had never driven on a road that wasn't in the heart of a battlefield. He found it somewhat relaxing.

He whipped into the parking spot at the pet store, popped it in park, and yanked the key out of the ignition. Him and Cortana began their walk across the parking lot.

"So… we need to find Loaf a big collar, some protein based dog food, a bed…" Cortana began rattling off items while reading her list.

John got remarkably tense. Sweat beaded at his neck, and his mouth felt dry. He instantly grabbed Cortana's hand out of instinct.

"What's wron-" a strong jerk on her arm prevented her from finishing her sentence.

A large truck flew by Cortana, almost striking the entire right side of her body. John grabbed her by her wrist and wrapped himself around her, protecting her with his large frame. The truck screeched to a halt. An intoxicated man staggered out of the truck. John was instantly filled with rage at the sight, and he had to greatly restrain his urge to beat the hell out of him.

"Sir, I am s-s-o slorry. Ish your wife okay?" the drunk man slurred out. His drunk passenger exited behind, still clutching a beer bottle.

His heart jumped to his throat at the word "wife". It briefly replaced his anger with embarrassment, and he felt somewhat flustered in that moment.

"She's fine. And she's… not my wife," he finished pathetically.

"Ohhh, so she's available?" The drunk passenger said while sauntering her way.

John placed himself directly between Cortana and the approaching man. At full height, he was almost two feet taller than the inebriated man. The man cowered, and he turned back to get into the truck.

As he clumsily climbed in the truck, driver remarked, "Man, her dad almost beat your ass!"

_Dad? They think I'm her father?_

John felt…creepy. He was attracted to Cortana, and he was much older than her. He'd never really considered _how _much older until now.

He turned to face Cortana, and he immediately saw the hurt in her eyes. She didn't say anything, she just turned around and headed into the store. He followed beside her with the cart while she put things in.

What did he do wrong?

He protected her, which in his opinion, was his unofficial job. Was she bothered that she was assumed to be his wife, or the fact that he was assumed to be her father? They had never gone any farther than an occasional kiss and cuddling. He wanted more, and he felt ashamed to admit it. She had never shown any indication of wanting more, so he never pressured her for more. He didn't want to be any more of a creep than he currently felt.

John wanted her to feel safe with him. He never wanted her to think that he felt any type of ownership or claim over her. The idea of having her as a wife was…strange. But not in a bad way.

He had never imagined having a real relationship. The hardened soldier wasn't even sure what a marriage was supposed to be like. He didn't even remember if his parents were actually married or not, let alone what their relationship was like.

The silence continued throughout the rest of the shopping trip. She grabbed the necessary care items for their new pet, and wordlessly got in the warthog to head home.

"Are you okay?" John asked with a worried tone.

"Yes," she responded bluntly.

"Well, this old man can handle anything. So if there is something, you can always tell me," John said with sincerity.

She didn't respond, but he noticed how the corner of her mouth turned up the slightest. She must've found the idea of him getting old amusing, and he didn't find that surprising. Silence refilled the air of the warthog, but it wasn't as awkward as it was before.

Cortana spent most of the afternoon in her garden. John spent it with Loaf. His collar didn't have a tag on it, so he slapped one of his old dog tags on. It looked somewhat silly, but he supposed it wasn't the worst thing anyone had ever done to a dog.

The sun began to set, and the cooking began. John wasn't much for cooking, but he would clean the kitchen afterward. He found doing dishes calming. Cortana didn't understand it, but as long as she didn't have to do it; she was happy.

They were back to talking, but she sensed that something was still bothering John. She wasn't sure if it was the wife comment or the old comment, but she doubted that he had loved either. She definitely didn't love the father comment, but the wife assumption was flattering. He seemed very startled at the idea that someone would see them as a couple, and it troubled her. She had genuinely hoped that they would eventually go in that direction.

While she was contemplating what his reaction could have meant, she decided to go ahead and open her bottle of wine. It was strawberry flavored, which was her favorite fruit. She grabbed the opener, popped it open, and poured the "proper" amount in her new glass. She took a sip and puckered her lips. She didn't hate it, but she didn't love it either.

"Too bitter?" John asked.

She gasped slightly. In her excitement to try wine, she hadn't even heart John come in.

"It's not what I expected it to be. Here, try it," She handed the glass to John.

John took a drink. It wasn't sweet, which was a plus to him. But it did have a taste that he didn't like.

"Not any worse than your tea," John replied.

"Well, I happen to love my tea. You just have no taste," Cortana said smugly.

She turned to the refrigerator and pulled out a can a beer. She figured it could be better than the wine. It was incredibly popular after all. Cortana cracked it open and took a sip.

"Hm. Now that's alright," Cortana stated while passing it to John for a taste.

"I think I'll stick with the wine," John decided.

"Never saw you as the fruity type," She said with amusement.

John just smirked and took another sip. He was full of surprises. She was even more surprised that he didn't even question the fact that she was drinking alcohol. She decided not to ruin the moment, so she put on an Independence Day playlist and kept cooking.

She hummed as she cooked the burgers and made the salad. John went outside to set up a blanket and fire. Cortana was on her third beer, and she felt warm. It was a good feeling. Her curiosity for the bottle of liquor she impulsively bought grew. She pulled out two shot glasses and filled them up.

"John! Come here!" she exclaimed.

John walked in and smiled at the smell. Her cooking was delicious, and he was excited to eat.

"Food is ready. But first…" She gestured to the two shots on the counter.

"You want me to take a shot, huh?" John asked with a snicker.

"Not unless you want me to take two," Cortana remarked.

"I don't think you'll handle that very well," John said with sarcasm.

"Oh really?" she said, clearly sensing a challenge.

She grabbed both, and promptly downed them. The first one was a little gross, but the second one made her want to gag.

John had to hold back laughter. He could see in her face that she didn't like it. John never went out to bars, but even he knew that concealing your reaction was the idea. Her disgust was clearly visible. It was almost cute.

"Don't like it?" John questioned.

"I think I should stick to beer," Cortana concluded.

John started fixing himself a plate, and Cortana soon followed. The two shots combined with the beer started hitting her, and she felt really giggly. She cracked open her fourth beer and enjoyed her burger by the fire. It was a beautiful evening. The stars were bright and the moon was full.

She snuggled up to John as the fireworks started. The sound made them both uneasy, but it was a pretty sight. She could understand why families continued the age-old tradition.

Cortana finished her fourth beer, and she moved onto number five. She started to feel light, so she grabbed John even tighter. The crackling booms of the fireworks permeated her senses. It was startling, but the alcohol did have a numbing effect that she greatly appreciated. The colors painted the night sky in a way that reminded her of mortars. Part of her found the fireworks astounding, but her past only found them haunting.

"Do you like them?" Cortana asked with childlike curiosity.

"In a way. It reminds me that some chaos can be beautiful," John responded coolly.

"They kind of scare me," she remarked.

"I can understand why. They don't exactly make me comfortable," He admitted.

They sat in peaceful silence, saturated in their own thoughts. Gradually, they transitioned into laying on the blanket while the fire died out. Cortana had been drinking beer the whole time, and John had kept his wine glass full. She couldn't imagine what the marines would think if they saw her big bad spartan guzzling wine.

_Her spartan. _

It has a nice ring to it. But he seemed to not be too interested in taking anything further than it was. She had to make her piece with it.

But it was just so hard. She wanted him so bad.

"I wish you wanted me," Cortana drunkenly blurted out.

Shit. That was _not _how she wanted to have this conversation.

"What?" John asked in pure shock.

He looked at her for a moment, and he could see the sadness in her eyes. She genuinely believed that he didn't want her.

"I never said that," John said sheepishly.

"You didn't have to. Its obvious that you don't. You barely even kiss me and you seemed horrified at the possibility of us being together," Cortana venomously responded.

"I don't think we should be having this conversation right now," He tried to say with delicacy.

"Why? Because we've been drinking? It seems like the perfect time if you ask me. You are always so closed off. I know you have issues like me, but you refuse to acknowledge them. Maybe the wine will get your edge off, or maybe it won't…" Cortana finished softly.

She wasn't wrong about the last part. He wasn't as intoxicated as she was, but he did feel a little bit more willing to talk. He had planned to have this conversation eventually, he just didn't think it would be like this.

"I…" John hesitated.

"You don't have to say it John. You don't trust me, you don't want me. I guess I'll just have to make my peace with it," Cortana angrily said while standing up.

"Wait," He said with too much familiarity.

She was gone.

He wanted to punch himself in the face. Why was he so bad with words? He cared more than she knew. Hell, he _loved _her and he knew it. He was just to chicken shit to admit it.

John stared at the dying fire for a little longer while downing the bottle of wine. He considered the stars for a moment, and he remember how he used to dominate them.

He'd be lying to himself if he didn't admit that he didn't miss his old life. The halo rings were filled with terrifying mysteries, but they kept his blood hot. His body used to nearly collapse from exhaustion. He saw things that would keep a normal man awake forever. But John? He reveled in it.

That was his biggest problem. While he did have some nightmares and flashbacks, he overall didn't feel negatively about his past. He was proud of the things he did. It wasn't all rosy, but he would do it all again if he could. Cortana likely wouldn't understand or agree with his mindset, and he was afraid that it would make her resent him.

He absentmindedly dumped water on the fire. The walk back to the house was short and silent. His mind felt cloudy, and he felt somewhat sluggish. He supposed that's what happened when you drink a big bottle of wine by yourself.

_Damn glorified fruit juice._

He barged into his bedroom and was unsurprised to see that his bed was empty. Cortana had gone to her own room for the first time in months. He didn't blame her. He was an idiot.

John grabbed a towel and headed to the bathroom. He put the water on cold in an attempt to clear his fuzzy thoughts. His tongue felt dry, and he reeked of smoke. The old spartan ran soap through his graying hair and wondered if she deserved someone better. Surely there was a younger, more understanding man in the world. John loved her, but he doubted that he was truly was the best for her. This poisonous tract of thinking continued. He finally gave himself a break and stepped out of the shower. He briefly gazed at himself in the mirror. His aging muscles stared back at him

_If 20 year-old me could see me now, he'd be ashamed. _

Frantic breathing and rolling could be heard on the other side of the wall. He already knew what was happening, and he couldn't just ignore it this time. Only halfway dressed and still damp, he opened the door to her room.

Her hair was damp from sweat, and her face was contorted with horror. Cortana's nightmares always kept her in a sleepless limbo. Her eyes were closed, and she was sleeping by definition. But she was _not _resting.

He did something out of character for him. John crawled into bed with her and cradled her, almost like she was wounded. He supposed that she was wounded in some capacity. But no amount of first aid training was going to fix the deep wounds she carried.

"John! John! I need you," she said with a sleeping sob.

"I'm here, Cortana. I'm here."

Her eyes shot open, and she gripped his arm with icy fingers. She was in a daze, but her hurt expression slowly returned.

"Why are you in here?" She hissed defensively.

"I want you Cortana. I always have," John said with thickness in his voice.

"John…" she sighed with happiness.

He cupped her face with his hand, and he locked his lips with hers. This was unlike any of their previous kisses. This one was full of desperate need. John felt her sink into him, and he couldn't help but smile into the kiss.

_Do it now. _

His brain was yelling at his vocal cords to say it. She needed to hear it. He wanted her to know.

"I…"

Cortana looked at him, almost as if she understood. She ran her hands through his cropped hair, smiling.

"I love you too, John."

**I'm back :D I'll be posting the next chapter of From the Grave soon. **


End file.
